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I Think I'll Blow My Brains Against The Ceiling [entries|friends|calendar]

[ website | You Kill Me Well ]
[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

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[30 May 2005|07:28pm]
[ mood | disappointed ]

I guess since nobody reads this I can just use it for personal use and to just free-write.. but I guess that's what is was for to start with.

Ugh. I don't know how I let him get to me. I didn't even like him all that much but I still cant get over him. I'm just glad I don't have to see him everyday anymore.


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[13 Apr 2005|06:17pm]
Advanced Global Personality Test Results
Extraversion |||||||||||| 46%
Stability |||||||||| 33%
Orderliness |||||||||||||| 53%
Empathy |||||||||||| 50%
Interdependence |||||||||||| 43%
Intellectual |||||||||||| 50%
Mystical |||||||||||| 43%
Artistic |||||||||||||| 56%
Religious || 10%
Hedonism |||||||||||| 50%
Materialism |||||||||||||||| 63%
Narcissism |||||| 30%
Adventurousness |||||||||||| 50%
Work ethic |||||||||||||||| 63%
Self absorbed |||||||||||| 50%
Conflict seeking |||||||||||||| 56%
Need to dominate |||||||||||||||| 63%
Romantic |||||||||||||||||||| 90%
Avoidant |||||||||||| 43%
Anti-authority |||||||||||||| 56%
Wealth |||||||||||| 50%
Dependency |||||||||||||| 56%
Change averse |||||||||||||||| 70%
Cautiousness |||||||||||||||| 63%
Individuality |||||||||||| 50%
Sexuality |||||| 30%
Peter pan complex |||||||||||||| 56%
Physical security |||||||||||| 43%
Food indulgent |||||||||||||||| 63%
Histrionic |||||||||||||||| 70%
Paranoia |||||||||||||||| 63%
Vanity |||||||||||| 43%
Hypersensitivity |||||||||||||||||||| 83%
Female cliche |||||||||||||||||| 76%
Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

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[11 Apr 2005|09:04pm]
I don't really update this thing at all. Well blah.

School sucks. I'm having problems with everyone. My 'best friends' is mad at me and aren't talking to me anymore. I don't know what i'm doing so wrong. I am honestly trying to stop cutting. It's hard. Especially with everyone around me.

Bah. I don't know anymore. I just don't know.


This is the only lonely picture
waiting on my floor
littering my shore
this is the last true burning letter
given to a girl
written by a boy
living in a world created to destroy

but if i built you a city, would you let me
would you tear it down?

but there you go for the last time
i finally know now what i should have known then
that i could still be ruthless if you let me
but there you go and i'm not done
you're waving goodbye, well at least youre having fun
the rising tide will not let you forget me
forget me

this is your ghost that kneels before me
razors on her tongue, a body full of oxygen
it wont be the last time she'll ignore me
the thinning of my skin, without the strength to go
the winter's setting in, to cover you in snow

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[05 Apr 2005|07:31am]
UGH. Why does everything have to go wrong? All my friendships.. EVERYTHING.

I've been really sad the past couple weeks... and I started cutting again. It's bad when 30 cuts on my arm turn into 50.. and then 100 in one day. I don't know what i'm doing anymore. I even told myself I wasn't going to cut anymore. I couldn't take it.everyone at lunch was trying to bring me down, even my 'best friend'. I have nobody anymore. No friends.. no family that cares.. nobody. It's not fair? Why do things just keep getting worst and worst for me.


I never thought I'd die alone
I laughed the loudest who'd have known
I traced the cord back to the wall
No wonder it was never plugged in at all
I took my time, I hurried up
The choice was mine, I didn't think enough
I'm too depressed, to go on
You'll be sorry when I'm gone

I never conquered, rarely came
16 just held such better days
Days when I still felt alive
We couldn't wait to get outside
The world was wide, too late to try
The tour was over we'd survived
I couldn't wait till I got home
To pass the time in my room alone

I never thought I'd die alone
Another six months I'll be unknown
Give all my things to all my friends
You'll never set foot in my room again
You'll close it off, board it up
Remember the time that I spilled the cup
Of apple juice in the hall
Please tell mom this is not her fault

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[03 Apr 2005|09:42am]
Yesterday was fun. I went to the mall with a bunch of friends. We got bored so we went to Starbucks. After that I met up with Bryan at the movies and we saw The Ring 2. I didn't like it. Adter that we went back to my house. Fun stuff. Anywho. It was fun.

He is so amazingly hot <3
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[16 Mar 2005|08:12pm]
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Add me and i'll most likely add you back or just comment, i'll eventually see it..

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